I went to a golf course yesterday. Been a while. I got a bucket of balls to hit at the driving range. But first, to my favorite place: the practice green.
I love putting around on a putting green, but what I love even more is pitching and chipping. I sat down my bag, I pulled out my trusty wedge, and I dropped one ball on the ground, on the grass, just off the green. I stood stock still and looked around and got grateful for a moment, then I gripped the grip, eyed the ball, swung the club, and “toonk,” I heard the perfect sound. I watched the ball bounce, and spin, and roll, up the hill, bending right, there it goes, and…
You can’t see it from this angle, but my ball is in that hole.
Off to the left where that white spot is, that’s about where I hit my ball from.
I looked up to see who saw, as is customary at times like this. As you can see in this next photograph, the other golfers were all acting like they hadn’t even seen my shot.
But we know what’s in there.
3 Responses to “My First Golf Shot in Seven Years”
god and jesus were out on the course. jesus whacks his drive and splits the fairway. god lets ‘er rip and shanks it. jesus starts snickering. god points to the woods, there’s a loud crack, a marmot appears out of the thicket with a golf ball in his mouth. god gestures heavenward, an eagle materializes in the sky, swoops down grabs the marmot and takes off, god points to the sky, a bolt of lighting splits open the clouds, hits the eagle in the tailfeathers, he drops the marmot who drops the ball, it lands on the green and rolls into the hole for an ace, god smiles. jesus looks over and snarls, “i thought we came to play golf, not fuck around playing god.”
Drive for show put for dough
i was hit with a golf ball on the head and it was quite painfull**: