Archive: September, 2009

Funny Amazon Screen Shot from Lee Jones

September 27th, 2009 7 comments


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Lee Jones sent me this screenshot from Amazon. He added the two red boxes and the comment. You can click on the image to see a larger version.

The comment he wrote says, “What I was looking at on Amazon.” The arrow points to the “The DellTM UltraSharp TM3007 WFP-HC 30-inch WideScreen Flat Panel Monitor.” That’s the item for which it is true that Customers-who-bought-this-item-also-bought the six pictured items, five of which are electronic accessories, and then there’s my book, Elements of Poker, right between the laser mouse and the lens cleaner.

Why would people who buy big monitors buy poker books? It’s because when you play poker on the internet, you can do what’s called “multi-tabling.” That means playing in more than one poker game at the same time. It’s like what Bobby Fisher used to do at chess, except multi-tabling is spectacularly faster, and it’s for money, and you can bluff, and everybody can play as many games as they want. Okay, so it’s barely like what chess masters do. It’s more like what video gamers do, which is: AS MUCH AND AS FAST AS POSSIBLE OF COURSE!!!

How many games do people play? The most I’ve ever heard of is 24 at once. Lots of online poker players play 10 tables or more. To those people, square inchage is vital. Imagine if you had a dozen programs open and you needed to see them all at the same time. That’s how it is when you multi-table. What would you do if increasing your visual real estate would increase your income? You’d buy a bigger monitor, or two. Which is exactly what many poker players have done, and do.

So it’s not all that surprising that a poker book would show up in a “Customers who bought this item also bought” section at Amazon when “this item” is a 30-inch monitor. But why my book? Yes, it’s well regarded and selling well, but that’s true of dozens of other poker books. Why would poker players who are expanding their playing capacity buy my book?

Lee’s guess is that they were thinking, “Hmmm. I’m going to be playing a lot of tables at once. Now more than ever, I need to tilt less…”

Reconciling Buddhistic Practice and Poker

September 18th, 2009 18 comments

The meaning of “reconcile” in play here is “to make consistent or congruous.” In other words… How can someone walk the path of harmlessness if it has poker tables on it?

I anticipated that I would be asked this question after The Eightfold Path to Poker Enlightenment came out. The title alone begs the question. Yesterday I was asked the question twice. In the previous weeks, about five other times. During the previous 6 years or so, I have asked myself the same question a few times.

Let’s say there’s a guy who plays poker, and he starts meditating every morning and doing mindfulness stuff all day long and reading about it and talking to knowledgeable people about it. He goes all-in with the practice and the teachings. He learns about harmlessness, intellectually, and it makes sense. He learns about harmlessness, experientially, and he watches himself and his world change. He likes where it’s leading. Eventually a day comes when there are no poker tables on his path. It might have happened suddenly, a quick turn: “Poker harms me and others! Therefore I shall no longer do it!” Or it might have happened gradually, with no forethought, just a natural weaning. In either case, it was the move toward a life guided in part by an attitude of harmlessness that made him move away from poker, which, by his definition, causes harm.

Let’s look at another guy. He is a poker player, and last week he heard some things about meditation. He heard it would improve his concentration and make him less emotionally reactive. He thinks this would be great for his poker game. So he learns more, and he starts doing some of the practices, the ones that he thinks will help him focus better and therefore do better at poker. Over the next ten years, he builds his repertoire of mindful breathing and concentration exercises that he does while he plays poker, and he occasionally does them in regular life during high-stress situations. He and his life are made better (more tiltless) by the practices that he rightly thinks of as stemming from his poker life, in the same way that a businessman might think of poker as something that hones his people-reading skills. The concept of “harmlessness” is nowhere in the mix. Yet when he plays poker now, he harms himself much less than he used to. And when he plays poker, he harms his opponents less than he used to. The things he says. The things he does. The things he thinks. The vibe he sends out. The bitterness is gone. The meanness is gone. The need to make others small is gone.

The first guy quit poker. The second guy has no plans to quit poker. Both are walking the path of harmlessness.

TwoPlusTwo.com Pokercast interview – 9/15/09

September 15th, 2009 3 comments

Did a fun interview last night with Mike Johnson and Adam Schwartz at TwoPlusTwo.com Pokercast. My second time of probably many. As one of the original disciples of the Temple of 2+2, it is dreamlike to be a guest on that show. (Special thanks and howdy to Steven (*TT*), the maker of things that happen.)

Here’s a link to the interview:

http://pokercast.twoplustwo.com/pokercast.php?pokercast=88

I am the second guest. My segment starts at 1:14:04 and ends at 2:03:30. We talk aboutThe Eightfold Path to Poker Enlightenment

and miscellaneous topics. I think my favorite line of the whole thing is just a few seconds before the end, when Mike plugs my book. He says:

“The book is “Elements of Poker” and if you haven’t read that, what have you been doing?”

Max Attack

September 11th, 2009 4 comments

If playing poker and coaching poker and writing about poker don’t work out for me, I think I could get a job as a wildlife photographer. As my resume, I would submit the spectacular sequence of photographs you are about to see.

To be an expert in this field, you must have incredible patience. You must anticipate accurately, and react instantly. These are skills I have honed at the poker table, and I believe they would serve me well in the wild. For example, on the day I took these pictures, I cunningly opened the front door, knowing that this would lure Max the Cat out onto his favorite hunting ground.

I crouched down and hid behind my iphone, in perfect position to take the perfect action shot of the kill strike. I can barely bear the anticipation even now, just writing about it.

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In the photograph above, we see the prey being lulled into complacency by the uncanny ability of the hunter to slip into his satori, just moments before the lunge. Below, the mighty beast vanishes like the wind.

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and_then

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Sated, and victorious, the vanquisher retracts:

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In full and constant awareness, the being turns quickly to a new sound:

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A Fish Story

September 4th, 2009 7 comments

I went to a restaurant with a person. When it came time to order the entrees, the person could not decide between the salmon or the halibut. I suggested a coin flip. “Heads, halibut. Tails salmon,” said the person.

The coin came up tails. The person ordered the salmon, and I did too.

I watched a server approach our table carrying two plates of food. The food on the plates was not the same. Uh-oh. I had been in situations like this with this person before. We were headed for a showdown.

The server sat one of the plates in front of me. On the plate was a warm, beautiful, fragrant collection of foods, including a piece of salmon. As the other plate was being lowered in front of my tablemate, a predictable exclamation was heard:

“This is halibut! I ordered the salmon!” barked the person to the server.

The server bowed. Nervously, and graciously, he said, “Please, yes, I will get your waiter.”

I said, “It’s okay, don’t worry about it, we’ll just trade.”

“No.”

“Let it slide, dude! Just pretend the server sat the salmon in front of you. Here, give me your plate.” I extended both hands. One to offer a plate, the other to receive.

“No. It’s not right. We should be able get what we ordered.”

This totally tilted me and I got rough. “You’re right,” I said. “This is inexcusable, and heads are going to roll. The first guy we’re taking down is that asshole who brought your food.”

The person would have none of my jocularity. “Hey, it’s not my fault that these people are incompetent.”

“May I remind the court,” I said, “that your food selection was decided by a coin toss. And that you refused to trade plates, thereby establishing as fact that whatever factors may be in play here, none of them are the food.”

I paused to re-establish my authority.

“If you complain when the waiter comes,” I continued, “the effects will be: ONE: a few ruffled feathers in the kitchen, TWO: your tantrum will eventually run its course. If, however, you choose to hold it in and zip it up and put it aside – if you can summon up a “Yes” when the waiter asks, “Is everything okay?” – then that alone would improve the universe. If, however, you can say yes and mean it, then all sentient beings of the universe shall be redeemed and recombined into the primordial gazpacho.”

“Very funny. Okay. I will spare them my wrath.”

“Thank God,” I said. “All I really wanted was to start eating.”

“Not so fast. My fish looks nasty.” The person slid the halibut toward me. “I’ll take that salmon now.”