Everyone remembers the day when the Yammering Yak showed up at the Poker Zoo, with his buggy sunglasses and his cap askew. The $20-40 limit hold'em game was just starting up. Yak sat down and pulled out a fat wad of cash, making as sure as he could that everyone saw it.
Yak looked at the Dealing Dog and said, "How many hands do you guys play in this dump? I can do 800 hands per hour at home, on my computer, in my underwear. And no tipping."
This was not necessarily the best first thing to say to Dog.
The Logical Llama said to Yak, "I have a few questions I'd like to ask you about this internet poker."
"Me too!" said everyone else.
Yak said, "Anything you want to know about anything to do with poker on the internet, or tournaments, heck I've even met Antonio, anything you need to know, I'm your guy. Just ask me." The Yak was pleased to be on center stage.
"Here's what I don't understand," said the Bumbling Bee. "How can you play poker if you can't even smell the other players?"
"Or spit at the dealer," said Snake.
"Can you change seats?" asked the Nimble Newt.
"That's a stupid question," said the Tragic Trout. "Here's what I want to know. Is there a bad-beat jackpot?"
"Enough with these trivialities!" asserted the Logical Llama. "I have some pressing, urgent questions for our new, young friend."
No one spoke.
"I find it fascinating that you can play at more than one table at a time." The seduction had begun.
"Right," said the Yammering Yak. "I usually play about ten tables. There are some guy who play …"
"And you've got blinds coming around at different times at all these different tables, right?"
"Yup, it's intense. The action is always coming at you. It's like you're …
"So, at any given time, you've probably got the button or you're in the cutoff on at least one of your tables, and those are good positions, right?"
"Absolutely! Position? I'm all about position. Let me tell you about position. Tommy says that acting last is like taking a drink of water. We don't have to understand why it's …"
"Here's what I'm wondering."
"What that?"
"Do you pee in a jar?"
© Tommy Angelo 2004
Various updates:
I started a blog in 2008 and it’s still going strong. I post about poker, mindfulness, and my life.
In 2011, I came out with my second book. It's called A Rubber Band Story and Other Poker Tales. This book contains my best articles and blogs from the last 12 years, with new material too. You can buy it directly from me and get it personally inscribed if you like, here. Also available in eBook. Amazon reviews are here.
Also in 2011, I started a newsletter. Join my mailing list to receive the newsletter, and I'll send you Episode 8 of my award-winning video series, The Eightfold Path to Poker Enlightenment.
It’s now 2012 and I am painlessly immersed in writing my third book: Painless Poker.